Working Mom

Well, I’ve officially survived my first few days as a working mom. Wait, scratch that. All moms are working moms. Scratch that, all parents are working parents. I survived my first few days of working outside the home. How’s that?

The weekend leading up to it was t-o-u-g-h. I cried or fought back crying almost anytime I thought about going back to work. Then to add to it, Asa stayed up ALL night Saturday. He hadn’t done that since we were first getting to know each other back in May. Not sure why he did it. Maybe just for the memories?

2 weeks old and wide awake at midnight

I was exhausted which only made me more emotional. Luckily for me (and everyone else in our house), Josh made me take a nap and go to bed early that night.

I woke up Monday at 5:30 with a heavy heart. It’s never been harder to get out of bed and it wasn’t because I was tired. I was heartbroken. Today was the day I would leave the kids and Asa and go back to a job that seemed like a distant memory.  I was able to get everyone fed and ready for the day in time for me to leave at 7:30, but Asa woke up early crying and not having time to sit and comfort him made me feel even worse.  I’ve never wished there were two of me more than in that moment.

My cousin Whitney (Asa’s honorary aunt) and her daughter are staying at our house during the day to care for Asa so I knew he would be in good hands. I kissed him goodbye and managed to make it all the way to the truck before I broke down crying. I sobbed half the way to work. A car changed lanes and almost hit me and it’s terrible, but my first thought was, Well if they hit me at least I can go back home. It was then I decided I should probably pray for some peace. I did and calmed down almost immediately.  

Walking back into work felt like the first day back to school after summer vacation. The scenery was familiar, but I felt so out of the element that I’ve lived in the past three months. 

While I was out, they moved my office kind of like how they did Milton in Office Space, but at least I wasn't in a storage closet.

The new office was stressful. The girls had done a lot, but I still needed to decorate and go through boxes of files and paperwork. In a way, it was good because it forced me to clean and organize, but I really wanted to jump in to work since I know next week will be my busiest work week of the year most likely.  However, my printer and certain programs on my computer weren’t set up so I had nothing else to do anyway. I really enjoyed getting to talk with our new boss. I think she will be a good fit in our office even though I still miss my old boss like crazy. I lasted a whole 5 minutes before a coworker asked me if it was hard to leave Asa and I started crying again.  I’m an equal opportunity crier so I got teary eyed anytime anyone asked me all morning, including our Vice President. I HATE crying at work, but everyone was so sweet and understanding. 

Immediately, I put up new pictures of the kids and plenty of pictures of Asa all over my office and on my desktop. I felt overwhelming heartbreak for a few hours, but as I started helping students, it got easier. I realized lunch was coming up in about an hour and thought it would be nice to get to close my door and eat while watching something online, or I could work out, call a friend and meet at Chilis, endless possibilities that were pretty exciting after being home taking care of kids the last 3 months. However, as 12:00 came, all those desires were overridden with the need to hold my precious boy if only for a few minutes. So I came home, got to love on him, feed him and change a dirty diaper (nice of him to wait for me to be home..haha). He was doing just fine (way better than mommy) so I left with a happier heart for sure. My afternoon went much better. I had a meeting and not only was it fun to see coworker friends I’ve missed, but it was great to offer input and suggestions. I can’t explain why it felt so good but it did, probably because my problem solving skills have been used to break up fights and schedule kids events for the past three months so it was nice to be able to feel like I had something to offer in a work/adult environment. Not to mention I can't seem to remember anything at home without it being on my list so I was glad the work stuff just kinda came back naturally.

Getting home from work was great, but also tough. Josh is working a lot of overtime so he wasn’t hope yet. I so wanted to just sit and feed Asa, but I had to let Jaleigh do it so I could warm up food and make side dishes for everyone else to eat dinner.  However, right after dinner, I didn’t put away the leftovers, clean up the mess or start the dishwasher like usual; I went and rocked Asa. We “talked” and laughed and just those few minutes made all the difference in the world.  Everyone kept telling me how precious my evenings would be with Asa, but I was worried because of his colic that I would only get him when he was hurting and crying so it was nice for a few hours of my normal happy baby.  He only fussed a little bit and went to sleep easier so I’m praying the colic is leaving. Good riddance.   I’ll confess I’m not sure how I’ll find time to do all I have to do now that I’m back at work, but we’ll figure out what works. Josh is always so supportive and helpful even when he was working this summer and I was at home. (Single working parents are my new heroes by the way. I can't imagine doing it alone). I hate to leave things a mess or started and not finished, but more than that I hate the idea of neglecting what really matters.

The funniest part of my day was when Josh gave me a hug after work and said, “You don’t smell like baby puke.” Haha. Trust me it was the first time in three months I didn’t.

The morning of day two (today) was smoother. Asa didn’t wake up early crying and was in a great mood so I was able to sit and play with him for about half an hour while the big kids ate. After Whitney arrived, I got to drop them off at VBS which they were so excited about.  Since I came from the church, I turned into work at the light by the hospital and couldn’t believe that 12 weeks ago today I was in there waiting to have Asa. Hey, at least you’re not doing that again, I told myself. Don’t get me wrong, If  I could go back to Asa being that tiny and our early days together I think I would, but labor again…no thank you!

12 weeks where have you gone???

It was nice to walk into my office today since it was clean, organized, decorated and full of pictures of the people I love. I got some work done, had another successful meeting and got the cutest video of Asa laughing with Whitney you can see on my facebook page!

This morning before the meeting one of my coworkers told me that she worked when her kids were young. She was so worried they would forget her or prefer their babysitter to her, yet as they got older every day was a struggle to pry them off her legs even though they loved their sitter.   I have to confess I’ve worried too if Asa will forget me or not find comfort in since I’ll be gone so much of the day so that story was just what I needed to hear to squash all the mommy guilt. Kids always love their moms even when their moms are not good ones and I’m so glad he has family taking care of him. I know he’ll always be extra close to Whitney and Paisley now. Our goal is that I will be able to stay home in a couple years and I pray that happens because I hate feeling like I’m missing so much, but until then I’ll keep doing my best and know that my working is helping take care of him and that no matter what I’ll always be his mommy and he’ll always be my little buddy even when's not so little.

A Mad Hatter's Tea Party!

We finished reading Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass this week and had our  reading party so I wanted to quickly share some pictures from it.

Here's a few of our decorations:

Table

Close Up

A main dish was hard. I really just wanted to do little tea party sandwiches, but knew I'd have three sick kids tomorrow if I did. Near the end of Through the Looking Glass, they mentioned eating Mutton and the kids asked what it was so I decided I'd make chicken, (say it was mutton) add some mushrooms and call it good. The side dishes were easier, but not by much.  Here are some pictures of our food:

The Whole Spread

Fruit Caterpillar

Garden of Talking Flowers

Tea Party Tarts

Thanks to Edna for the yummy homemade ice cream!

Potion

We all dressed up as a character again. This year I thought way ahead and was able to grab some things for half off after Halloween:

Our Alice

Cheshire Cat

Don't let the Clock fool you, it's not Flavor Flav, but the White Rabbit who's late for a very important date!!

A Mad Mad Hatter

The Queen of Hearts and "Asa Hearts" (Also known as Ace OF Hearts)

"Mess with the Queen of Hearts an answer to me" ;)

 We ended the night by watching the animated Alice In Wonderland! It was the first time the kids had ever seen it so we had a great time.  Can't believe our final party of the summer is over. Guess I can officially start looking for next year's books.

"Wear The Old Coat And Buy the New Book"

Anyone who knows me knows that I love to read and always have. I wanted to take an opportunity to share an awesome blog my friend Adrienne wrote called 60 Ways To Make Reading Fun. You can click on the title to read it. I love her ideas and wish I had this earlier in the summer. We will for sure be trying some next summer and when Asa gets a little older.

I come from a line of readers. My grandparents love to read. My grandma is usually reading her Bible or a Christian book while my Pops reads historical, political and joke books. (Must be why he has a joke for everything.)  If you go to my parents' house any given day you will see mom with her Kindle and Dad with his astronomy books. Many of my aunts, cousins and best friends are readers too. Some day, I WILL start a book club with my girlfriends complete with themed dinner for each book we discuss. It's on my bucket list.

I remember my parents reading to me when I was young as well as my teachers. From sitting in a circle while my  kindergarten teacher read a page then showed a picture, to sitting at my desk as my 6th grade teacher read from a chapter book, many of my best school memories involve books.  Anyone else remember the Book It program?  Do they still have it?  A free pizza for reading books? Don't mind if I do...

 If you don't remember that how about this:

I also recall one year in grade school, we each had a paper catipillar hanging from the ceiling that grew longer the more we read. Kinda like the one below, but each slip of the caterpillar was a piece of paper our parents had to fill out when we read a book. My caterpillar touched the floor quickly and proceeded to build quite the nest down there.

Before my grandparents moved, I stayed at their house a lot. I'll always remember a series of books they had filled with children's stories. Not only did I like to read them, but I remember copying them. Since my granpdarents moved when I was really young, I did this before I could really write, but I did my best. I remember Dad telling me I had to put spaces between words when I wanted him to read what I wrote. Guess I knew then I wanted to be a writer. I mentioned these books to my grandparents at our last visit and Grandma brought them out for me. Sure enough,  I saw my little check marks next to the stories I had copied back then. I opened up the books and smelt them. Ah, just as I remembered them. Everyone laughed, but I love old book smell, especially books I loved as a child. (Why can't scentsy make a little cube of that, huh?)  Grandma told me I could have them so we came home with a load of books. I can't wait to share some of these stories with the kids! Don't worry, I won't make them smell them.

When Josh's kids came that first Christmas right before the wedding to visit us we had maybe 5 children's books. This is children's section now, a year and a half later:

What's funny is Josh and I probably only bought about 10 of these. Between Gram and Auntie Kelsey who are teachers and the rest of my family and friends who are readers, they didn't have a chance not to end up with a book shelf full. Not to mention that for Asa's baby shower people brought and signed books for Asa instead of cards (awesome idea!) We originally had the kids keep their books in their rooms, but didn't have much space for them. We wanted to make sure they were taken care of so Josh bought this shelf thinking we'd still have lots of room left on it.  Oops.

Yesterday our book collection grew again when Gram brought us more books including the one below that I got a good laugh about. Groundhog Day is my favorite comedy movie ever so until Asa is old enough to watch it with me, this will be our Groundhog Day tradition. If only I could be read to us in Bill Murray's sarcastic voice:

"Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.."

She also bought these history books which are secretly for me:

As for me,  my summer reading is The Thornbirds. I knew nothing about it, but wanted an historical family saga spanning years since that's the style of novel I'm writing.  It's taken me a while to read it since this summer has been busy, but I'm really enjoying it when I get the chance and have a whole 1983 miniseries to watch when I'm finished. There for awhile I thought I'd never find a book I really got into after finishing 11/22/63 by Stephen King. I read two or three books right after and didn't enjoy them much so I'm so glad I found a good one again.

 

That picture makes me laugh because it's so true.  Especially so for me when I read Water for Elephants last year.  For weeks I felt sad trying to read a new book at night because I wanted to back to that circus train.  I've read several since that have been hard to let go of as well. That's when I know I just read a five star book. Speaking of five stars, if you are a reader and looking for new books consider signing up for goodreads.com and adding me as a friend. It's completely free and a great way to rate the books you've read and find others you might be interested in.  I'm looking forward to October when my favorite "modern" author Kate Morton's new book comes out.  I discovered her last year on goodreads and read all three of her books back to back, my favorite being The House At Riverton. Its ending still haunts me.

We are getting ready for our last summer reading party this weekend. Our Alice In Wonderland dinner should be a fun one.  Mom bought us the animated version that the kids haven't seen and saved the day since the library didn't have it. I checked all summer to make sure they had it to check out in the dvds and it showed they did each time, but when I went to get it yesterday they discovered it had been lost somehow. Funny thing is last summer I checked the week before our Secret Garden Party to make sure they had the movie and they did. I went the day of the party to get it and it had been checked out. What are the odds? What's even more crazy is I went to Hastings to rent it and it had been rented too. I finally found it in a five dollar bin to buy and as I was in line, the lady in front of me asked where I found it and went to look for a copy for her as well. Was someone trying to sabotage that party or did I time travel back to 1993 and to a world where that movie was widely popular?

So how about you? How to you instill a love of reading in your children? Is reading something they enjoy doing or something you have to tell them to? We still have to tell Josh's kids to read, but they enjoy being read to more so that's a start. Have you ever read the original of any classic children's stories?  I did in trying to find summer reading stories and had to opt for edited, retold versions.  It seems like children were much smarter back then to understand and enjoy those stories. Must have been because they didn't have ipods and video games. ;)

To close I want to leave you with one last quote, this one by Walt Disney. I think I need to have it above our book shelf too! Happy Reading!

The Beginning Of The End

Since I haven’t posted as often as I anticipated (in my planning for the summer I planned for more free time to blog..silly me), I thought I’d post an update on some of the fun we’ve had this summer since we've officially reached the beginning of the end of it. 

We started the summer with behavior charts. They got stickers for doing various positive things they struggle with. Once they got 50 stickers they got to pick something fun to do. They all chose to eat with their dad and had a great time. (I was really hoping Jaleigh would chose to have a pedicure with me instead). Unfortunately we found after the 50 stickers were obtained behavior wasn’t as great in trying to get 50 more so we nixed it.  The goal seemed too far away for them to care. They seem to do better with old fashioning spankings from Josh than positive reinforcement, but it was worth a try. 

Oh I wish I was more crafty and could make things look more pinterest-ey. I'd even settle for being able to cut or draw a straight line. How did I pass kindergarten again?

 Chore Store:  Last year we gave the kids chores and they did great. This year we decided we’d pay them a little for each chore and give them chances to do extra ones for extra money. We had pay day at the end of the week where they would lay aside 10 percent for offering, 10 for their piggy banks (Savings) and the rest was theirs to spend at our very affordable chore store stocked with candy and toys.  Great way to teach responsibility and counting/managing money.

Dinner on the kids:

Josh wanted to show the kids how much work it is to prepare a meal from start to finish so he had them make a meal plan for one night, go to Walmart to buy the ingredients and make it themselves (under his supervision of course). It was so nice to have the day off. It’s not that I totally hate cooking, but I hate having to come up with recipes that are different than what I always do and I hate the mess it makes.    So on Sunday while they worked, I went and got my hair done, kid free. The kids did great with their meal and enjoyed it, but were not interested in making a habit of it after seeing all the work that goes into it and all the clean up involved.  Jaleigh did the main course of fish, mashed potatoes and corn on the cob; Brandon made Brownies and Aidan poured the Diet Dr Pepper they choose as their beverage.  Am I jealous that their food was better than mine? Nah, but I’m grateful for the idea from the best husband in the world making sure what I do day in and out is appreciated.

Sweetwater: Ah, is there a better vacation destination than your grandparents’ house? Some of my very best childhood memories were visiting my grandparents and now I’m excited to share the magic of Grandma and Pops with a new generation.  We went last year and had Aidan’s birthday and everyone really enjoyed it. Since they don’t get to come down here for birthdays anymore, I know Grandma and Pops enjoy getting to be a part of a party so this year we did Brandon’s there. It was a Thomas the Train theme. I almost chose it last year, but hesitated because Brandon’s mom tells him Thomas is for babies and won’t let him play with it at their house. I didn’t want to disrespect her, but decided if it’s what he likes, it’s what he likes. Why be in a hurry to rush him to grow out of it? For all we know he may have a lifelong interest in trains that started with Thomas.  I know it has to be confusing and tough for them, but they live in two households with different rules. She lets them watch and do things we don’t and visa versa I’m sure.  On any account, Brandon seemed to really enjoy his birthday and the cake and décor came out great.  Pops even made home made ice cream for us.

 Sweet Asa also got to meet his Great Grandma, Great Pops and Auntie Meissa (my godmother) and get majorly spoiled.  He loved for my grandma to walk him around and sing lullabies to him. He doesn’t quiet react the same way when I try. I wish I would have gotten a recording of her singing so I could get him to sleep as quickly as she did. It was so nice to have two grandmas (my mom was there too) to love on Asa. Can you both live with me for a month or two? ;)

Sweetest pic ever

Merry Leissa, spoiling a new generation

Asa is growing up so fast.  He weighs 12.5 lbs and is 24 inches. He was in his 0-3 month and size one diapers forever and then seemingly overnight that all changed.  I could sit for hours and watch him smile and coo. Well, if he would do it for hours before getting fussy. He and his dad love to “wrestle” and Asa laughs so hard. I try to do the same with him, but he looks at me like “Mom what are you doing?” Guess it’s a dad/son thing, but he does love to hear me read aloud.  In Sweetwater, I swear Asa said Momma. He didn’t know what he was saying and hasn’t since, but it was enough to make everyone in the room stop what they were doing and turn around. I know it was a fluke, but it’s so going in his baby book as his first word. He still has colic, but I'm praying he outgrows it soon.

"But how are you?" is a question I get asked since I had a baby. At first I didn't get why everyone was asking me that, but now I assume it's a good way to remind me that I'm still a person beyond the kids and how I feel matters. Also a good way to check in and make sure  I'm not spending my time rocking myself in a corner singing "Swing Low Sweet Chariot." ;)

 So how I am? Really good actually.  I’m starting to work out and eat healthy again. Not easy after being off the wagon since last summer when I got pregnant, but I’ll get there.   I haven’t read or written like I’ve wanted to, but I spend lots of time daydreaming about my characters  and coming up with ideas to improve my manuscript. Of course, If I don’t write down said ideas immediately they are gone forever.  Since I’ve become a mom, I can’t remember ANYTHING if it’s not on the list I have on the fridge. Where did my awesome memory go?  

Yes, this did happen to me...

 I’ve said before, but I will say again, I don’t know how moms have time to do anything but take care of kids. It’s  great work, the best actually, but 24/7 work.  For fun, I have finally gotten around to watching ‘The Hatfields and McCoys’ miniseries that came on in May and it’s great!! Heck it’s great to watch something not animated.  We bought some wireless headphones for the tv and it was the best 100 bucks I ever spent. I can finally hold Asa in the middle of the night for feedings and enjoy a little Hatfields and McCoy killings, or Dawson, Joey and Pacey love triangle (thank you Beth for the entire Dawson’s Creek series) without disturbing the lucky ones asleep in the house.

 I’ve also used said headphones when one of the older kids wants to watch a movie that Asa doesn't feel like being quiet for. Can I just take this opportunity to say some kids movies nowadays are just plain weird? The kids love Arthur and the Invisibles (all three of them). I’m normally okay with kids movies, but these are just plain weird to me or at least the last two that I actually saw were.  I must be getting old. I’d like to hide that one and Speed Racer before next summer. Can’t we just stick with Alvin and the Chipmunks and Disney Princesses please?

Yes this is happening. A character from Arthur and the Invisibles voiced by non other than Snoop Dog. I wish I were joking

 Josh is enjoying his new job, but since he’s the low man on the totem pole, it’s overtime city. It’s been tough for me because one of the major benefits of this job for me when we were deciding whether he would take it or not was the consistent hours and being home by 3:30 each day and that’s gone out the window. Supposedly, just till the end of August when they close out the year though.  Don’t get me wrong, the pay is nice, but the timing…terrible. I feel for Josh. He works so hard at home, work and somehow is a full time student too.  At least this job is in the field he’s working towards his degree in and will allow me to stay home with the kids in a few years.  I’ve got to look ahead and not right now or I regret him leaving his job at the city where he would have had more time built up for vacations this summer.

 

Up next for us is Aidan’s birthday this weekend (truck themed) and then the Alice and Wonderland reading party next week. The kids will go to VBS the week I go back to work and then they head back to Colorado, but not before making our yearly scrapbook detailing our summer adventures.  As busy as it’s been and as much as I’ve felt like I’m losing my mind, I’m so not ready for the summer to end.  I’m heartbroken knowing I will be back at work in a week and a half, but I’m thankful Asa will be in good hands with my cousin. As a friend pointed out, eventually I’ll really enjoy getting to have lunch with friends, write or workout during my lunch hour, but I know for the first few weeks I will probably come see Asa during that time…or first few years. ;)  Don’t worry, I have tons of pictures of my little guy and bigger guys and gal to adorn my office. My twelve week leave went so fast. Next time I have a baby I think I’ll move to Sweden where they get a year off. I find it sad that America is one only a handful of nations in the world that does not provide federally mandated paid maternity leave. We are very behind our peers. I was paid for mine because I used sick/vacation leave. I had to work 7 years to get 12 weeks off with my baby. That wouldn’t have even been possible without the Family Medical Leave Act. (Thanks for that one thing Bill Clinton).  I really feel for mothers who can’t utilize that Act because they don’t have the leave built up and can’t live without their pay for 12 weeks.  I get their are reasons people are against it, but so many abuse  government help to get everything free for themselves and their kids yet parents who are trying to work sure can’t catch a break.  Ok, off of my soapbox now.  I better stick enjoying the summer tonight. I'll think about the kids leaving, going back to work and the problems with America tomorrow. :)