No matter how many people told me how much my life was going to change when I became a mom, I had no idea the half of it until I was in the trenches. No idea. Marriage changes your life some, a baby changes absolutely everything.
I’ll start at the end. At 4:00 this morning, I finally felt myself drifting off to sleep again. I’d been up since 1:30, dealing with a series of accidents. I was too exhausted to cry so I had to laugh, laugh at the irony that in another world, I would have been getting up to go to Vegas with my girlfriends today to celebrate my best friend turning 30. Yet here I was having a different kind of early morning entirely.
It all started at 1:30 when Asa woke up crying. I won’t go into the details because no one wants to hear it, but I’ll just say teething causes diarrhea and dirty diapers somehow can defy gravity. (Right moms?) I tried to keep the room dark so Asa would maybe, just maybe, crash back out after I cleaned him up. Luckily, as far as I could tell, the mess was only on him and not the sheets. As I was getting him cleaned up, I kept hearing a weird crinkling sound, but was half asleep so didn’t think much of it. Finally, as I went to lay Asa back down, I felt the sheet and it was soaking wet. The moisture was only where his head was laying so I told myself ,It’s just drool. Go back to bed. He’s tired, you’re tried, go back to bed. Yet I couldn’t. I knew I needed to wash the sheet just in case. I had to wash the PJ’s anyway so I might as well make it worth it right? So I picked up Asa and sat him beside me of the floor while I lifted up the mattress to remove the sheet. Only then I noticed the mattress pad was wet too. How this could happen was beyond me. I dissembled the bed all while trying to keep Asa from crying so Josh could sleep. I thought about waking him to help me, but poor guy started 18 hours of school this week and has been having to go into work super early and get home super late. He was exhausted and I told myself, You’re the mom, you can handle this.
When I finally bent down to pick up Asa he was also soaking wet. I had JUST changed him into a clean diaper and pj’s. Was the roof leaking? What was going on? I finally turned on the light at this point to see a puddle of his pee on the floor. Upon further examination, it was all over one part of the crib, the breathable bumper pad, even the bed skirt. I seriously am considering the hope that this is all a dream at this point. Finally, I noticed pee dripping of a crib mirror that he has hanging up. It’s then I realize that somewhere in trying to get this kid cleaned up with his legs up in the air, he peed. Peeing on the mirror toy was the crinkling sound I heard. Somehow it went sideways to hit all that and escape out of the crib. Even now, I can’t begin to imagine how this happened. I knew I had to change Asa’s pj’s again, change my socks and pants since I was standing in it and further dissemble his crib to get the bed skirt and bumper off.
I went into the living room with my pile of bedding in one hand and Asa in the other. I laid him down, took off the wet Pjs and decided to undo his diaper. He’s had diaper rash and any mom will tell you it’s best to let it air out. I put a towel under him just in case, but there is NO way this kid could have any more pee in his body right now. I handed him a toy and he seemed too sleepy to want to do anything or go anywhere.
I went to get the light and walked back through the living room. Asa was still lying on the towel, playing with his toy, airing out, all was well. I disposed of his dirty diaper then loaded the washer up. I was amazed Asa wasn't screaming at this point. He cries anytime I leave the room after all. I made my way back to the living room and Asa was standing up, leaning against our other couch peeing EVERYWHERE. (100th bad idea of the night was me thinking he would be still and air out without peeing.) Seriously, where does all this pee come from??? I wanted to cry at this point, but Asa turned and smiled at me and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I cleaned him up (again) and put him with some toys to play while I cleaned the couch and carpet.
I sat there for several minutes unsure of what to do and then decided to go out to the back yard, shake off everything and wash it again, with a few extra rinse cycles. All I can think though is, What if I ruined the washer? So for my own peace of mind while the bedding washed again (sans diaper this time), I googled “Accidentally washed a diaper” and 1,670,000 results come back. Oh it feels good no to be the only mom who makes dumb mistakes. I read a bit and it seemed that I had made the right call in shaking off everything and and washing again. Every post I read assured me all would be well.
I crawled into bed and Josh whispered, “What’s wrong with the baby.” I didn’t know where to begin. So I just told him there was a series of accidents and I’d been up hours. I didn’t mention that most of the accidents were mine, but hey it’s okay because 1,670,000 other moms have made the same stupid mistake so don’t judge me.
The end to my night came when I heard Asa stirring hours later. I jolted up and grabbed my phone. I set 3 alarms every morning. The first one, is “Hey, you should get up if you want to work out and finally lose the baby weight.” Surprisingly, I had been getting up to that one all week I’m proud to say. The second is, “Ok so no time to work out, but still enough time to get ready and even have breakfast if you hurry”. The third is my “Oh @#$% alarm” which basically means, I’m not so much as gonna get a shower for the day. Imagine my surprise, when I see its past time for all of these alarms to go off. My phone showed 7:45. I normally leave for work at 7:30. Where was the babysitter? She always arrives at 7:30 too. I go out in the living room and she’s not there so as I pick up the phone to call her to make sure everything is okay, my phone changes back to the correct time of 6:45. Ugh damn Texas time. I guess a price you pay living in a border town is a confused phone.
