We
arrived home from the hospital Thursday with our new little guy! He is already
such a joy. Unfortunately the details of his birth were not as positive as I hoped
they would be. For all who have asked
about what complications we had I wanted to share the story of his birth. There
are obviously some unresolved issues with it still and the anger at certain
things is still fresh, but I’m trying to focus on the fact that in spite of how
it happened, Asa is here and he is perfect.
I
was induced at 40 weeks and two days at the recommendation of my OBGYN. I was
glad for the suggestion because I wanted to have him before Josh started his
new job, before the kids arrived for the summer and frankly, I just wanted to
meet him. Every mom to be knows that once you hit the full term mark your
excitement grows and grows.
I went into the hospital at 6:30 am to start the process a little disappointed that Dr. Driskell wasn’t
on call to deliver that day since he’s my primary doctor, but I wasn’t about to ask to have it delayed till
he was on call. So Dr. Callaghan came in
around 8, broke my water and the nurses got me hooked up to every possible
device imaginable it felt like, and though he did not know it at the time Josh would be on full time duty for the rest of our time in the hospital. Of all the stories I’ve heard on labor no one
warned me of how many things would be put in your body to monitor so much. I’m
sure I had more than the standard though
due to the issues in labor.
My contractions started
coming fairy quickly but they were mild, or so my nurse said. They didn’t feel
mild to me at all. Later a nurse told me
the machine wasn’t reading mine correctly because if they were as low as they
were registering my labor would not have been progressing at all. So that made
me feel like less of a wimp for asking for an epidural 2 hours in when everyone
kept telling me how “mild” the contractions were .lol. I was really nervous
about the epidural but for no reason at all. I felt the numbing shot which was
just a prick, a small burn and that was it. Before I knew it the epidural was
in place and I was feeling great. By great, I mean I was feeling nothing. I
couldn’t even move my legs. A strange feeling, but welcome after the two hours
of contractions every few minutes. I
have a lot of respect for people who labor naturally, I have no idea how you
find that much strength of will.
Soon after my blood pressure dropped
drastically. I have low blood pressure already but it was dangerously low. Some medicine from the anesthesiologist took
care of that for a while. Meanwhile, Asa’s heart rate began to make drastic
drops. I knew something was wrong when four nurses rushed in trying to
reposition me. Luckily his heart rate shot up quickly, but throughout the day
it would continue to make huge plummets. They found unless I was on my right side,
almost perfectly still it would begin to fall. They had to start injecting lots
of fluids into my uterus for Asa. I had
wonderful labor and delivery nurses who explained it was probably his cord
wrapped around his neck or he was playing with it. I was really worried about
that prospect though they assured me not to be. Looking back, I really don’t
understand how lying on one side cramped up against the bed rail for eight
hours so he wouldn’t be in distress was the best idea. I’m surprised a c section
was never mentioned as an option if this continued or at the very least a
sonogram done to see if his cord was causing him distress. All I was told for a
plan was that I’d be taken off the epidural if my blood pressure dropped again.
It made for a very nervous mom during
the entire delivery knowing if I so much as moved I would see his heart rate
drop from 150 to 59 or similar drastic scenarios, but they assured me that
since he always recovered he would be okay.
At the beginning of the evening my epidural was running low and
some how the call was made
that they would not refill it. I was told I would have the baby within an hour
tops and the epidural would last two hours after the bag ran out. They said
they wanted me to be able to feel just enough so I could push. Well, they
severely undershot when it would be time to start pushing so I wasn’t pushing
for another 3 hours and by then the epidural had completely worn off with
nothing left to be done. I was so upset and frustrated. What was the point of
having an epidural if it was going to be gone just as I needed it the most? Dr. Callaghan told me it was clearly gone and
I was just gonna have to push. She is a
great doctor, but I’ve always preferred to see Dr. Driskel or Mandy because I
feel Dr. Callaghan’s bedside manner can be somewhat lacking so I wasn't happy it was going to be her yelling at me to push for the next few hours. I
was in so much pain, I was crying and often screaming out. I had no idea how
anyone ever did this naturally and no idea why this was happening to me, why it
was hurting so bad or if an end was in site. Finally after 9 pm, I was
exhausted and Asa wasn’t completely out. The Dr. had to use the vacuum which I was
upset about, but in so much pain I didn’t try to stop it. I was so happy to
hear him cry, but surprised that the worst of the pain seemed to come then as
well. I could tell by my husband’s and the nurse’s expressions something wasn’t
right. My family overheard one of the
nurses who stepped out saying she’d never seen anything like that before. I heard
them say Asa was 8.8 lbs and was very glad I didn’t wait any longer to have
him. Dr Callaghan was frantically trying to stitch me up, but getting frustrated
because she didn’t have all she needed.
She seemed upset with the nurses for not having all she needed and they
weren’t her biggest fans then either. All understandable given the circumstances
I guess, but not what a patient needed to hear. Finally she told them to call the anesthesiologist back to start my epidural
again. I was confused why they wouldn’t/couldn’t when I was pushing but
could/would now. She informed me the
tearing was severe and I would be going upstairs to the OR for emergency
surgery. I got to hold Asa for a little while and see my family because we had to wait for the OR
team to get there since they don’t work during the night unless needed. Around 10:30 I was wheeled up for surgery. I
don’t remember a lot of it because I was asleep. Dr Callaghan was working quickly and seemed satisfied
that she was getting it taken care of. She knew she was capable so I didn’t
worry. Her confidence helped me in that moment for sure. The epidural took care of the pain, but I knew
it was going to be bad when it wore off. When the surgery was over I was taken
down to a new room in postnatal care to see my family and get more
information. I don’t want to be graphic,
but basically having the baby caused a tear inside all the way to my cervix. So besides just the actual labor that
certainly added to the pain I was feeling while pushing. Also, Asa was not in
the room waiting for me like he was supposed to be. I was told he had to be in
the nursery on oxygen because of a gurgling sound he was making and from
complications of the cord being around his neck and tied in a knot. They said
if I wanted to feed him I’d have to go down there to do it. Well, I wanted to
of course but I literally couldn’t move so he had to be formula fed that evening which was not something I
planned or wanted. When it was just Josh and I left in the room, I just started
crying. The whole day had been so emotional and I dreaded waking up the next
morning actually being able to feel the pain again. Throughout everything, Josh
was amazing. He helped out during every stage of the labor, got me anything I
needed or that would make me comfortable. I had some good nurses that day, but
he was the best one for sure. He never left my side. He was there to make sure the epidural was done right holding me in the correct position, he constantly watched the monitors and made sure the nurses were on top of things. During the thick of it he was actually doing the job of a nurse even when an on duty nurse had to leave because she could not handle the situation. And with everything going on he made sure to kiss me and comfort me before I was wheeled to the OR while he stayed to make sure our baby was ok.
I think we finally feel asleep around 3 and got
up at 7 on Wednesday. The pain was
terrible, but Dr Callaghan wanted to take the catheter out to force me into
movement and prevent blood clots. It was terrible as was the entire 2 days in
the postnatal unit. Many of the nurses
I had were not great. We’d have to ask and ask for things, only to have them
forget them. They were nothing like my
wonderful nurses I’d had in labor and delivery. So thank you too all the nurses
who actually care and work really hard without recognition. When you’ve had the
other kind, you realize how much you need to thank good ones. Anyway, I asked for pain meds yet every time I
was due for some, I had to remind them. One night they told us they would be coming
in at midnight to weigh Asa so we tried to have him fed and ready to go to sleep
right afterwards so we could get a few hours of sleep before the next feeding
however, they came in an hour late. Then Josh asked them for a few things that
took another hour to get. In spite of
all the bleeding, they never once changed the bed liners, Josh had to every
time. When he asked them to once they brought in more liners and laid them on
the chair for him to change. They told
me they would be monitoring things on me throughout the two days they never
once did. I would completely expect and
understand those kind of things had it been busy, but several nurses told us
how slow and boring it was. Because I couldn’t start nursing right away, we
asked for a pump several times that we never received. When finally out of
desperation at 4 am we asked for formula with a dropper to feed him with they
instead gave us a bottle which I didn’t want him on. When I got ready to leave,
I was given none of the postpartum supplies other mothers had told me I would
so I had to ask for them one by one which I had no problem doing considering
the price of our bill for our few days there. It seemed like the entire time I
was there, patient advocates and heads of departments were coming to talk to us
and not because we ever asked. They said news had traveled fast about the
issues with my labor. So we spent a lot of time sharing our frustrations with
the right people so hopefully it's easier on future patients. I’m healing, but very sore. It’s difficult to
walk or even stand up. It makes things
with Asa tougher than they should be so I hope I feel better by the time the big
kids get here. I can’t sleep on my bed
so we are all camping out in the living room. Josh one on couch, me on the
other and Asa in his cradle. I know I’ll look back and remember how precious
these early days were together in spite of the pain. I’m not sure if I’ll be
able to have a vaginal delivery again, but we’ll cross that bridge later. We took Asa to his pediatrician Dr. Schmidt,
for a follow up today and his oxygen is at 100, lungs completely clear and
everything else is well. So even though I have many questions about why things
were done the way they were and many frustrations with my experience, my body will heal, Asa is healthy and at the
end of the day that’s all that really matters.
